Sanctity Page 22

  I was about to call to him to forget it and to just get some riding in when he raised his hand over his head and waved to me that he had found it. I wrestled my bike to where he was so we wouldn’t lose track of the trail again and Charlie scurried off to retrieve his bike. Once he was back he straddled his bike and led the way.

  The trail was a lot narrower than the ones I was used to. It was somewhat rocky and there were patches of roots scuttling both across as well as lengthwise along the trail. It made for some interesting riding. I was forced to stay focused since I needed to keep making adjustments to my speed and positioning on the bike while trying to avoid as many obstacles as I could. We came to occasional hills both up and down as well as some substantial and fear-inspiring drop-offs that truly took some effort to navigate.

  There were lots of hard to read switchbacks, too. We’d be riding along in one direction, come to a hairpin turn and find ourselves heading in nearly the opposite direction. I started to lose my hesitancy after about 15 minutes or so and found that I was actually enjoying myself. I may even have smiled once or twice when I thought the trail would get the better of me but I ended up safely coming through the obstacle.

  Charlie was looking back from time to time to make sure I was still with him and I could see that he was having a fun ride too. Just as the trail looked to be coming into a clearing, Charlie thought it was a good time for another glance back to see how I was holding up and as he turned his head he suddenly dropped down out of sight. I broke hard and skidded to a stop just at the edge of a deep set creek bed.

  Charlie was sprawled at the bottom of the embankment, the lower half of his body covered in water. His bike was completely submerged a few feet away from where he landed. I called to him but he didn’t answer. I tore off my helmet and dropped my bike and scrambled down to where he was lying.

  “Charlie,” I gave him a gentle shake, “Charlie,” again.

  He didn’t answer right away but as I was about to bend my ear to his lips to hear if he was breathing he grabbed me and dunked me into the water beside him.

  “You!!” But I couldn’t be angry. I was so relieved that he wasn’t hurt that I started laughing and splashing water in his face.

  Charlie was so taken aback by my sudden burst of humor that he just sat there and took it. After a moment or two I realized what I was doing and dropped the cupful of water I had in my hands and continued to laugh out loud. Charlie looked so ridiculous sitting in the water with all his riding gear on and a crazed grin on his face that I couldn’t seem to get myself under control. Every time my laughter settled into a giggle I found new humor in our situation and would burst out all over again.

  After a while Charlie decided that he had had enough of being waterlogged and humiliated. He dragged himself and his bike from the creek. While he checked to make sure it wasn’t damaged in any way someone called to us from the other side of the creek bed.

  “Hey there, everything alright?”

  It was one of the park rangers and I was about to panic knowing full well that we were in one of the restricted areas.

  “Uh, yeah,” Charlie called back. We were just taking a break and thought we’d get a closer look at the creek. I slipped on the embankment and took a little tumble.”

  “Well, that creek is off-limits. Double back that way and you’ll find the main trail. Next time be more careful about where you’re exploring.” He tipped his hat to us and climbed back into his pick-up.

  “That was lucky,” I said. “How’s your bike?”

  “Rideable.”

  “Maybe we should take his advice and head back.”

  “Yeah, let’s.”

  We walked our bikes in the direction the ranger suggested and sure enough found ourselves on the main trail. We were near the bridge where I convinced Charlie to take me biking for the first time. We both looked at one another remembering the moment.

  “So this is where it all started,” he gestured to the bridge, “and this is where it got me,” Charlie motioned to himself; his soaking clothes and muddy bike.

  We walked for a little while hoping we would dry off some so we wouldn’t be slipping around on our saddles while we rode. He had his bike to the left and I had mine to my right so there was nothing in between us as we walked up the corkscrew hill I first saw him and Zach charging down. I felt good, really good, for the first time in ages. I didn’t say anything but I took Charlie’s hand and gave him an appreciative grin.

  Margaret immediately sensed the change in my demeanor when we got home. She looked from me to Charlie and back again as she listened to us tell the tale of our ill-fated bike ride. Charlie embellished quite a bit and made me sound as though I belonged on the pro circuit, which, of course, was an utter falsehood. Our enthusiasm was infectious and Margaret was smiling and laughing along with us and Kaley seemed to wonder what she missed as she trotted back and forth from me to Charlie to Margaret.

  Charlie didn’t stay long after we finished our tale. He was muddy from the waist down and decided to decline dinner, though both Aunt Margaret and I were imploring him.

  “No, really, I would love to but I think I’ve tracked enough debris into your kitchen for one day. I really need to get home and clean myself up.”

  I was not in much better shape than Charlie and decided I needed to clean myself up as well. I waved goodbye from the stairs as Margaret walked him to the front door.

  “Goodnight, Charlie, I don’t know what you did but I can’t thank you enough,” Aunt Margaret whispered as she sent him on his way.

  Chapter 18

  We were friends before we were anything else so it was awkward for me to transition into a relationship with him but Charlie was patient and generous with his feelings. As we grew closer I thought more and more of him and having never had strong feelings for anyone else I decided that I was very much in love with him. We ended up dating throughout our senior year and he did everything he could to keep our relationship going once we graduated.

  After high school I followed through with my intentions and went to the Culinary Academy. It was a long commute from Margaret’s so she helped me get a little apartment about halfway between school and home. Charlie ended up not much further from either of us after he decided to study engineering at one of the nearby technical colleges and moved into one of the dorms.

  I pursued my degree in culinary arts first then decided that desserts were my true passion and enrolled for another two years in the pastry arts. Charlie graduated one weekend and I graduated the next. He took a job and moved into an apartment downtown. Our lives were starting to take shape and seemed to be steering us down a predictably safe and secure path.

  We visited Margaret often and one night not long after graduation I mentioned to her and Charlie over dinner that I wanted to open up my own shop someday and they both seized upon the idea before I could fully explain my plans. I had hoped to get a little experience working for someone else first, maybe even manage a bakery at some point and progressively work my way towards a coffee or dessert shop or something along those lines of my own. I never had a chance to express any of those thoughts though.

  “Why wait,” they both persisted.

  Before I knew it the two of them had me in the thick of things and I was quickly realizing that there was much more to starting a business than I ever envisioned. After finding a suitable location and months of planning Charlie and I began putting the finishing touches on the café I envisioned. We were at the shop the weekend before we were scheduled to open and I was edgy with nervousness as I imagined a couple of all-nighters so that when I opened the doors Monday morning I would have something to offer the first of what I hoped would be many customers.

  “No, a little more to the left,” I exasperatedly motioned with my hand and called to Charlie as I pushed my unproductive thoughts aside. He adjusted the table a few more inches from the door.

  “Now back, more towards me. That’s good. Right there.”

  Charl
ie was looking at me with his are you sure this time expression again.

  “Yeah, that should be good,” I circled the table to be certain there was enough room to navigate between the front door and the other nearby tables. “OK, let’s get the stools.”

  Charlie followed me to the back loading dock and we started bringing the stools in one by one. I gave him an apologetic smile as I reminded myself that I would never have gotten through it all without him and Margaret and their constant encouragement. They were both with me every step of the way while I tried to put my business together and I knew I needed to show them, especially Charlie, how grateful I was for that. I couldn’t help sighing as we placed the last of the stools and I looked to Charlie with relief.

  “That’s it,” I breathed.

  Charlie took a step towards me and gathered me into a loving embrace, “You did a great job.” He gave me a kiss on the cheek as he took a step back and surveyed the results of all our hard work.

  “We did a great job,” I corrected. “I could never have done this without you and without Margaret. I can’t believe we’re here. I can’t believe I’m so close to getting started.” I looked at my watch, “Let’s call it a day,” I checked that the doors were locked, took Charlie’s hand and led us to the back dock by way of the kitchen. I took one last look around at all the shiny new appliances and countertops and the equipment resting in each of their appointed positions before flipping the lights. “I thought I would like to eat out tonight but now I’m not so sure.”

  “There’s always take-out, it’s the best of both worlds.”

  “OK, your place or mine?”

  “You know, it could be our place,” he was looking at me with a touch of humor but I knew Charlie was being sincere.

  It wasn’t the first time it had come up but I still thought we were too young to take that step. At least that was my excuse more often than not. There was just something so declarative about living together. It seemed like the next step towards the inevitable proposal then marriage and all the other trappings that came along with it.

  I truly cared for Charlie; he was my best friend and besides Margaret and Kaley he was my most trusted confidant. He seemed to understand me better than I understood myself sometimes and was determined to keep me from succumbing to the sense of loss I often felt and never seemed to be able to shake. I always imagined that it was losing my parents that caused me to feel the way I did even though it had been nearly a dozen years since they passed away and I didn’t remember them at all.

  Charlie suggested that it wasn’t just that I lost my parents but that I had lost the memories of them as well which doubled the anguish I felt. To help steer me away from it he kept me busy and active, loved and supported me and did whatever he could think of to keep me grounded in the present.

  I knew that was part of the reason Charlie and Margaret were so intent on having me get the cafe going. I often felt it was a conspiracy between the two of them to keep me as occupied as possible. It wouldn’t have been the first time they joined forces. Either way, I was sure their efforts were well-intended and certainly heartfelt.

  He was looking at me for some kind of response, “Actually, my place might be easier, I’ll need to call it an early night so I can get some baking done for Monday. I think I’ll work on some cheesecakes, since they take me the longest and will keep better than any of the other pastries I want to make.” I avoided the our place comment rather than inviting further discussion of the topic.

  Charlie looked like he was about to say something important, took a deep breath and instead simply said, “Fair enough,” and handed me into the car.

  I knew our relationship couldn’t go on like that forever but until Charlie reached the end of his extensive rope, I would continue to love him to the best of my abilities. As he slid into the driver’s seat I reached over and rested my hand on his leg. I gave him an I love you squeeze and smiled when he glanced over at me. He looked a little sad and the smile he sent back seemed somewhat forced.

  He drove me to my apartment and we quietly nibbled our take-out. “Are you staying tonight?” I asked.

  “No, not tonight, I have a thing,” Charlie said.

  I was momentarily relieved but Charlie had used that excuse many times over the past few years. I had always trusted Charlie but for some reason I just couldn’t seem to accept his explanation that night.

  “So are you ever going to tell me what your thing is?” My words came out a bit more abrasive than I intended them to.

  He looked at me with a quizzical expression, “Tonight?” he asked. “Why would you ask me that tonight, when every other night it has been nothing but passive acceptance from you?” He didn’t sound upset just curiously off guard.

  “Passive,” I thought to myself, “is that how Charlie views me, passive?” His head was tilted and he was earnestly waiting for an answer. I honestly didn’t know what to say, I looked down at my plate and thought about it for a moment.

  “Well, it’s nothing really,” Charlie continued. “I’m just meeting an old friend.”

  Missy came to my mind but I knew it couldn’t be her. She lived half-way across the country and probably hadn’t given either of us a second thought. “OK, guy friend or girl friend?”

  Charlie shook his head, “Guy, if you must know but please don’t ask me anything more.”

  I really wished he hadn’t said that last bit, anything more, because suddenly I had a million questions. I looked up from my plate and was about to start rattling them off but there was something in his expression that told me it would have been a dangerous pursuit. He took his napkin from his lap and tossed it onto the table. He pushed his chair back, walked to where I was sitting, kissed me on the cheek and the next thing I knew he was gone.

  I just sat dumbfounded staring across the table at the empty seat. I had a fanatical impulse to follow him but quickly dismissed it. “This is Charlie we are talking about,” I said to myself, “he loves me, whatever he is doing, he must have his reasons and it is wrong for me to doubt him when he has never given me any reason to; until tonight. Tonight,” I wondered, “why tonight of all nights?”

  I busied myself with cleaning up our dirty dishes and disposing the take-out containers. When I was done I took my shower and got ready for bed. I was still puzzling over our dinner conversation and couldn’t seem to shake the question, “why tonight?” it just repeated over and over again in my mind. I decided I needed a distraction and sat down to watch the evening news.

  Once I got to the correct channel I found that the meteorologist was on and she was talking about the best times for viewing the annual Perseid Meteor Shower. She was pointing to different areas of the country and rattling off times and for some reason I was fascinated by the idea of getting up a few hours before dawn and checking it out for myself.

  I began to wish Charlie had stayed; it would have been a nice romantic gesture for me to wake him in the middle of the night and surprise him with a spontaneous little adventure. Thinking about it made me realize that I didn’t really do enough things like that to show Charlie that I cared. He would often surprise me with a love note in my lunch bag or flowers on my nightstand, or with some other knick-knack like the pair of earrings he once got me that were shaped like rolling pins. I turned off the TV and made my way to my bedroom. I set my alarm so I could get an early start at the shop and crawled beneath the covers.

  The morning came too soon and it was dreary, dark and raining quite hard. I ended up hitting the snooze a number of times before I dragged myself out of bed. I was not feeling particularly hungry so after I brewed a cup of coffee I snagged an apple from the bowl and headed out to the shop. It was just getting light as I pulled out of the complex and started the short drive downtown.

  I parked in the rear of the building where the loading dock was and hurried in through the back entrance. I was sure to lock it back up once I was inside the shop and tucked my things into the office. I sat for a minute trying t
o decide on how many and which varieties of cheesecakes I wanted to bake. Once I had a plan I rummaged through the kitchen and lined up everything that I would need to get started. It was going to take a while for the cream cheese to soften enough for me to use so I wandered back to my office and started making a schedule for the other pastries I wanted to bake.

  After I was satisfied with my planning I went back to the kitchen and gave the cheese a little poke. It was still too hard to use so I grabbed some sticky notes from the office and went out to the café and started labeling the bakery cases with where I wanted to display everything once I put the finishing touches on them. It took a while for me to be able to visualize it all and I ended up shifting notes from one section of the cases to the next and sometimes back again.

  The whole process was ho-hum and the more thought I put into it the less I liked my ideas. I felt distracted by Charlie’s abrupt departure the previous night and with wondering who he went to see and why. It seemed like an obligation to him and not, as he said, like a visit to an old friend. There was nothing in his expression that indicated that he found any joy in what he was about to do. “And why can’t he share this with me?” I couldn’t help dwelling on why he would feel that whatever it was, he needed to keep it from me.

  I started imagining all kinds of possibilities, mostly unsavory ones. Did Charlie have a drug habit I was unaware of, or did he owe someone a gambling debt. Maybe he had a crazy relative that he didn’t want me to know about in case it would scare me away from him; that I might start thinking that he might somehow be tainted with the same affliction.

  I put my hands over my eyes and tried to shake my head clear of all the restless and unproductive thoughts swimming around in it. I took one last glance at the display cases and decided that if anything needed to be changed it could be done later when everything was ready to be placed inside.

  Once I started working on the cheesecakes I began to feel a little better. I worked on the two easiest first – a plain NY Cheesecake and a plain Chocolate Cheesecake. I lined the bottoms of my springform pans with foil and prepped them with some baking spray. I put them aside and used my processor to grind up some graham crackers for the NY and chocolate cookies for the chocolate. After adding a little melted butter I pressed the crumbs into the bottoms of each of the pans and ran my finger along the inside edges to make them neat and uniform.